I put together this video explaining the number 1 mistake I see at weddings – at least CNY and upstate NY weddings! But if you’d rather read, I have a blog post for you below!

I have really enjoyed the trend over the last decade where couples ask a friend or family member to officiate their wedding ceremony rather than a stranger or justice of the peace or just “someone they kind of know” who really doesn’t know anything about the couple at all. I’m guilty of that myself. At the time of my wedding, Mark and I were not Christians and not associated with any church so we just went with the local justice of the peace that my mom kind of knew. It was fine…but that’s it. It was fine. He really didn’t KNOW us. And I love wedding ceremonies where you REALLY get to know the couple and their story. So it’s been great to see good friends and family members who really know and understand the couple to officiate the ceremony and therefore the ceremony reflects them very well.

However, with this trend there comes a flaw. Because these people don’t normally marry people and this is probably one of their few times doing this, they tend to make one major mistake. Put yourself in the mindset of a wedding, okay: all of the guests stand as the bride walks in. Aww look she’s so beautiful! Oh let’s take a peek at the groom! Adorable! This is so romantic, I love it! And then the dad, mom, grandparents, brother, WHOEVER is walking the bride down the aisle, hands off the bride to the groom and then all eyes and ears are on the officiant. Here’s the mistake:

THEY FORGET TO TELL PEOPLE TO SIT DOWN. 

This happens at AT LEAST HALF of all the weddings I do where there is an unexperienced officiant. People are left kind of looking around wondering if they should sit down or if they are supposed to wait for the officiant to tell them to be seated. It’s awkward.

Here are the tips to avoid it.

#1 – This is very obvious. Tell your officiant ahead of time. Ask them that their first line on their script will say: “You may be seated.” Have them watch this video or read this post. My dad has officiated a few weddings and this is ALWAYS the first thing he says and writes it nice and big at the top of his paper.

#2 – If number one fails, have someone in charge to get the trend going to have people sit down. This would work well for any parents of the bride or groom because if people in the first couple of rows start sitting down, everyone else will too. If guests see the mother of the bride taking her seat, no one else is going to stay standing. Heck, I’ve seen a bridesmaid whisper to the officiant before “people can sit down!!” and it caused a good laugh by all and everyone took their seats.

Those are the best (and only?) two pieces of advice I can give you. If you can manage this, your guests will never think twice about it AND it ensures that your videographer and photographer have the best angles possible at all times throughout the ceremony because they aren’t trying to work around 100+ guests standing up blocking many views of the couple. It benefits everyone.

Have you ever been to a wedding where the officiant forgot to tell people to be seated? Any other major mistakes you’ve seen happen consistently at weddings? Let me know in the comments!